So a little scare today. I went in for the ultrasound on the thyroid and the tech after scanning my neck for 25 minutes then called another lady in to re scan my neck like she was concerned. Now I am freaking out a bit and trying to keep calm. Then the other lady walked out and she asked if I was okay and I told her I know you can't tell me but is there something seriously wrong with me. She said why do you ask and I explained how the doctor talked to me about treatment and then how she scanned my neck for 25 minutes left the room got someone else and was asking all these questions and pointing. And she said "I am so sorry, I didn't realize I shouldn't have done that I am a student and I thought I saw something but this is my 2nd thyroid ultrasound and I am not suppose to tell you this but it doesn't look like there is any nodule" and then she went on to say that she felt bad that happened and that to check on my test results once they are read because she is not the professional but from what she learned and the teacher said didn't see anything. Yeah hipp hip horray.
I also wanted to say I am sorry if I offend anyone with my stories of what I am afraid of or what not. I understand that there are people out there that have had far worse life then I but this is my blog and I just put how I am feeling at the time. It doesn't mean that is the way I feel the next day or on for weeks but I hate needles and scared to death of surgery and invetro was a test enough for me. There are people who are far stronger then me I am by far not perfect but I use this blog to open up and tell my felling or what I may be scared of or just for help. It helps me do that because I don't talk to everyone about my feeling I usually bottle them up and I may say it to my husband in passing but I never want him to know how worried I truly am is why I may give you all more then even my family get to hear. My family in Michigan is my husbands family and my husband and little guy. My friends are mostly my husband friends from when he grew up's wives and my mom could care less about how I am because she is doing her own thing and right now thinks she is a teenager. So as you can see there are not many options for me. This I am not writing for any amount of guilt or for anyone to feel bad I am not like that. That is why I bottle my emotions from people in life other then my husband because I hate the guilt trick or when people are about poor me. But when I am scared about something and this thyroid thing might be Minuit to others it was really scary for me because I am scared of needles and surgery and the first thing that pops in my mind is my dad died at the young age of 48 what if I get cancer. That is truly my biggest fear because I watched him deteriorate right in front of my eyes and I don't want my family to have to watch that. It was painful and I still carry that around so when I found out about the thyroid that was all I can think my worse fear come to life and I finally got my dream to have a little boy that I have waited for so long and I don't want this to happen to the family we tried so hard to build. I am sorry if I offend anyone or anything but I vent and pour my emotions on how I am feeling on this blog.
On a totally separate note. Does anyone know how to put 5 year old that if difficult every night to bed. We have tried to ignore, we have taken things away. I have had numerous talks with him. I don't know what else to do. He can stay up with the best of them and when he sleeps he sleeps hard it is just getting him to bed every night. We make deals of what we will do before we got to bed and it is fine with him until we leave. If we try to sleep with him he doesn't stop talking no mater how much you tell him to be quiet or if you pretend to sleep he tries to wake you. I am out of ideas and I hate bedtime it is the worst time we read stories to wind down nothing seems to work. PLEASE HELP!!!! Thank