When Justin came into our lives Tim surprised me one day when I came home he had Justin's room all situated so it didn't remind me of the room when you passed. Justin doesn't of course know that was the room you passed in. Now that room is full of life and happiness. He loves cars just like you do. He really like the movie cars. The whole room is themed in cars and when I go in there I don't even think about those days in that room. It is like a totally different room. I go in and it now makes me smile. I at one point thought we were going to have to move because I had such a problem with that room I would close the door and never go in and now it is always open and I am always smiling when I pass. Justin is either sleeping or playing and it is happy. I think what I love the best is knowing you are his guardian angel I tell him. I told him you would always protect him.
Mom is doing good. She got married last month. Ricky is in school. He has an associates in computers but now wants to be a nurse. And no he hasn't grown up yet. He is now 25 and still has no job and wants to go back to school but the good thing dad is that mom married a guy that can take care of them both. He makes a decent money and seems to want to take care of them. I don't know if he knows what he is getting himself into hahahah. He cooks for them, cleans for him and works a lot. I feel like now I don't have to take care of them anymore there is someone who will and I can concentrate on my family.
I wish you could be here. I still need you selfishly. I miss you and love you. I think about you all the time and I try not to cry but last night and this morning was a little hard. It would be 3 years at 11 am this morning you passed. I am trying not to dwell on it but when the day comes it gets hard. Justin and I are planting a flower in our garden of memory of you today. We are also going out to eat to one of your favorite restaurants in memory of you. Not like we are throwing a party or anything but we are just trying not to make it a sad day and trying to do things that you liked or tell stories of you to Justin. He always asks questions about you. He found your ashes on my dresser. He picked up that pretty box I keep your ashes in and he wanted to play with it and I had to explain to him not to do that and that it was you. He wants to know what you liked and what you used to do and he loves to see pictures of you with all these cars and when you play the guitar. He told me he wants to play the guitar. I told him if he is serious when he gets older I will give him your famous red guitar that you had when I was young. You loved that thing and we have so many pictures with you with that guitar.
I will think of you today and always and miss you so very much. I love you and think of you frequently. We are always thinking of you today and always. Love your Family Susie, Timmy and Justin