Sorry but everything has been so busy. Between going to school in which I take my big 5 and 1/2 hour exam on Dec 5 (please wish me luck), and the holidays, shopping, work and all the places I have to take this little boy because DHS has things they request from you I haven't has time for anything. I try to get on but not long enough and then I hear him calling "Susie when are you going to play with me" and you know I have waited to so long for that moment that I can't pass it up and I run to have that time with him. He is doing well. Yesterday we hit a little bump in the road not such a good day. He had 3 time outs. I feel bad because I know it is because the holiday we have all our family and friends over and he did good all the other days but I think his parents were really on his brain yesterday. I felt bad putting him in time out but I know I have to stay on top of him or he will learn he can get away with stuff. I can't have him talking back and throwing things. My mother in law and father in law were over for the worst temper tantrum and they looked so uncomfortable they looked like they can run out of the room. He was thrashing and I had to hold his legs and arms and head and wait until he calmed down to start his 5 minute time out. Tim's mom didn't agree she thought I should start it right when I put him in time out but I explained to her that then he gets what he wants. He wants attention so if I am holding him down and calming him down he has my undivided attention and where is the punishment in that I start the time when I let him go and he was listening. I don't care if he is crying in time out just not trying to run away or have a temper he needs to calm down and think about why he is there. She said she doesn't believe in time out and she never did that but I think the child should know you are upset with them for there actions that hurts them more then hitting them. The hitting goes away the feeling that your parents are upset with you doesn't. At least that is what I explained to her. I try to explain that we pick our battles. She wanted to put him in time out for not listening to her when she told him to put on his socks. I told her that he takes off his socks all the time and he always runs warm and if he feels cold he can put on his socks. I personally didn't think that was something for her to fight with him with. If he is at her house that is fine but we were at my house. Some times gets frustrating when in laws want to tell you how to parent. If I asked her for advice that would be one thing but I didn't. It gets hard because we all need to be on the same page as not to confuse him.
I do what to say Thanksgiving was great and I am very thankful for this little boy. He is so special to us and I can't imagine our lives without him in it. We find out Jan 13 and I pray to god that God is on our side and that this boy doesn't go back because the judge happen to be in a bad mood that day. DHS says if it was up to them he would be ours and rights would be terminated. They say though it is up to the judge and judges are like gods and that you never know what they are going to do. I find it sad that judges never have to go to all the classes we had to, to be foster parents because then they would understand the system better and what is best for the child so they don't keep the child in the system for years and years and then the child is older and nobody wants the older child. It is sad. But I can't say enough how grateful I am to have him and share this time with him. He is just so great. I can't wait till he is ours and I can share that with all of you and show pics. He is so cute. :)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I have been really busy so I am writing to you from work at lunch. We are doing well but it is hard to know what I can and can't discuss with everyone. I will not know if parents rights are termed until January so it is hard. We have defiantly been through our ups and downs. But to tell you the truth we love him and I couldn't imagine my life without him. He is a great kid. I can't wait to share all with you. He has his days especially when his mom sent gifts for b-day. That was hard and acted out for at least a week. We felt horrible but we had to discipline so we told him every time he didn't listen or did something bad or acted out in school we will take away a car or something he likes. I think he did get that because he is acting great this week and said I am good today can I have a car back and we say wait till the end of the day and if you are good with no time out of warning then we will give you the care back. So we are doing good just anxious to find out if both parents term so we can go on vacation in Feb to Disney like we have discussed. They say it sounds as it will happen but they don't want our hope up as the decision is up to the judge but that DHS has a case. I of course can't go into detail but I think I gave you the just. I just don't know what I can share and not so it gets hard to go on this thing and share what I would love to share with all of you. I am just enjoying my time with him and excited about Christmas. Please everyone pray that this goes through and he becomes ours. I will defiantly let you know what happens when it gets closer. These last few weeks have been hectic with his schedule for school and DHS schedule for them and doc appt and dental and all that then he was sick with flu and then I had it and now I am just almost over it while I am going to school on Saturday 8 hours and Tuesday night for 3 hours. It is hard and I am sorry I didn't share but as you can imagine my life has turned upside down for the better and I just can't wait to say he is ours and then get to share photos and stories. :)