Thursday, July 23, 2009

Sorry for the short posting

Sorry everyone if this ends up short then usual. I am going on vacation starting tomorrow (Friday) after work for a week up north. I can't wait to go on vacation and I just had to drop this line before I left because I didn't want people to think I had dropped off the face of the earth but I was extremely busy getting packed today and cleaning my house since when I get back it will only be a couple of days till my second home study. Yeah 2 more week. I remember reporting that and it was 4 weeks and that felt like forever away. Half way there now. I am very excited to leave I need a vacation the stress of life and work is really starting to hit me hard lately where I get crabby sometimes just because. I think it is I just need a vacation to get away and not think of the stressful life at home. Leave up north and shut off my cell phone, computer and any contact with the stress of the outside world. It feels like I am running away from home. Hahaha. But in a good way. I promise when I come back I will post pictures of our time up north and sunsets and the cute little girl that I posted in that wedding blog they are going up north along with all of our other friends that go up every year on this week. One more thing I was meaning to mention I was coming home today and I saw a rainbow and of course you all know what I wished and I wished the picture came up better but it was beautiful. My Birthday is coming on August 23 and I will be 28. I hope that my birthday finally comes through on my wish to be a mother. Also on August 28 we will be celebrating our 5 year wedding anniversary. Yeah
Hope August brings some other good things but until then I will talk to you next week when I come back and hope you all have a good weekend and nice week. :)

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Watching 16 and Pregnant

My blogging friend Savannah had 16 and pregnant on her blog about this weeks episode about a couple who gave there child up for adoption. It was so sad yet so heart warming. You just have to see that episode. That episode was actually taped like 20 minutes from our house. I use to be in the nursing program and did my nursing there at Port Huron hospital and that nurse that was wheeling her out I actually did some rotations with her. It was just weird. It was a very good episode though.
I also wanted to share with my new blogging friends since I put this on my old Blog that there is a free adverting on . You can post your profile there for free. I just wanted to share that with all of you. Still waiting for my appointment for my second home study on Aug 6. Trying to wait patiently.
I also am still having problems hitting on my interests and seeing others blog. I heard from Savannah and she was having problems and I am still having these problem and was wondering if anyone else is still or ever had problem and if you know how I am suppose to correct this issue. Thanks :)

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

At work on a quick lunch break and had a question

When I am going into my interests I am not able to pull anything up. It is spelled right and in the past I was always able too but I realized on Monday and then I checked again today that I still couldn't pull up any blogs off my interests. I was wondering if anyone had a similar problem or who may be able to tell me who to fix it if there is a problem. Sorry I know computers just not well and I am some what new to blogging so I was not sure. Well have to go back to work but looking forward to hearing from you. Thanks! :)

Monday, July 13, 2009

Fun Weekend passing the time

So this weekend we went up North to the cottages to check some people in on Friday. It was a beautiful sunset.
Then we left on Saturday to go to a wedding and have some fun

And we were having fun playing with our friends kids who were the flower girls. Although I am not in any of these pictures because I am usually the picture taker and when I see a moment like the ones below I run for my camera.

And yes these are two twins as the flower girls. They are going to be 6 in August.
We had a great time. Trying to pass the time to make August 6th come a bit quicker so I got some stuff going on . We are going on our vacation up north on July 25th to August 2 for a week like we do every year. We have Tim's family and friends even the 2 flower girls above are going. There older sister Melissa actually stood up in our wedding when she was 4 which this is pretty cute to see. So I am looking forward to vacation and then when we get back I am going to have to re clean my house now that we will get home and have laundry and such and have it ready and baby proof for this new social worker to come over so we can do a second home study since we switched our agencies. I know I had people as about this but we switched because DHS did more adoptions a year then our other agency. They say they do about 50 adoptions a year verses our other agency that does 3 to 5 a year. Not only that but DHS will let us adopt from any state and the age is any age versus our agency that is 0-2 years old. Like they said they only do infants but are licenced to do 0-2 years old. We are pretty open to even older. Maybe 4 or 5. We are pretty open minded and I felt with DHS they were pretty open too and didn't have many stipulations.
I forgot to mention at the wedding I had people come up to us when we were playing with the flower girls asking when we were having kids. I explained to them our situation and how we would love to adopt. Then I heard two people say to me what if you adopt and then get pregnant. I was kind of taken back that someone would ask that but I thought that would be obvious. We would have 2 kids and all would be wonderful. We always wanted two kids and we would be complete. Then after I thought I answered honestly and from my heart and they got it YES they asked well how would you treat them both. I couldn't believe it but I kept my composure and put a smile on my face and said I wouldn't love one more then the other. I explained that when we finally adopt a baby that baby is going to mean the world to me. We have been waiting this child for such a long time they would be so special to us. We feel this child in our heart. I explained the baby doesn't have to come from me, we love children and any child is a blessing and should be treated like one with all the love in the world. They said wow I guess I never knew someone who adopted before. I then explained to keep us in mind if any scenario came up but I guess if they don't know anyone who adopted I am not sure how far I will get with that but then I started hearing some people say that you write a letter and send it to all your friends and family about your journey to adopt in case a scenario came up. I thought we told everyone but I guess it wouldn't hurt to send a letter. I never heard of that but I was wondering how do write one. I don't want it to sound weird or desperate. I want to get our point across without someone asking why we are sending it. I was wondering if anyone sent one to there family and friends and what do you write or even how do you start a letter like that. It is kind of intimidating. If you have followed my previous blog you know I don't quite. I will do everything I can to have my dream to be a mom and a family. I have sent fliers in the colleges and I have put fliers in the hospitals and put info in the news paper. I am even blogging which I would never guess I would do because I am not computer savvy but I am getting better at this I am just now finally posting pictures. But I am trying everything I can to make my dream come true. I can not wait for that special day when I get that call. But until then the wait will Begin. The whole thing of waiting until we have our home study done again I feel like I am starting at the beginning. I read that blog Heart Cries and it puts a smile on my face and gives me inspiration that my day will come to be a mom. I always try to think that there is a baby out there or being formed right now for me but you never know. I keep my heart on my sleeve sometimes and I think that is how I get hurt. I know now that adoption is a roller coaster of emotions as invetro was but I hope god hears my cries. I try not to preach on this website to much about faith because I know everyone has there own beliefs and I don't want to preach to anyone but I do pray every night that the baby for Tim and I is out there and that we will get that life changing call but until then please hang in there with me. :)

Thursday, July 9, 2009


Sorry to bring the mood down for anyone today. I am a bit sad and frustrated. So I finally got the call from DHS from my transfer of foster licence and adoption paper work from my other adoption agency. Well they got the paper work last week but she said she would call on Tuesday or Wednesday to schedule a home study again.They said they wanted there own home study. Well anyway she called today. I was so excited I ran to my calender to get this ball running. She tells me July has just been so busy and they have so much going on. Then she asked what day is best for us and I told her Monday or Thursday's she said okay can we meet on August 6th. I was kind of like oh is that the soonest because I can take off of work. I am a person that is very organized and very on top of everything. So this is a stretch for me. I was rushing my poor other social worker at the agency to get everything transferred to DHS and for what I have to wait another 4 weeks. I just got down on myself. I know it is silly and it is only 4 weeks but it feels like a lifetime when everyday you are hoping you are one step closer to reaching your dream to be a parent. When my husband got home we took a run. I had to get out the stress and get everything off my mind but the run just made me think about it the whole time so I figured if I blogged about it I can get it off my chest and maybe I would feel better about it tomorrow. I just have to let this go and try not to think about it so that it will come sooner. We were hoping (my husband and I) that we would maybe have a baby by Christmas to celebrate with. The last few years of Christmas have been a real bummer and we celebrate with all of our family but there is no kids in the family. Ours would be the first. I don't know if it is going to happen this year but I am praying for a miracle. Some days are good some are bad. Today unfortunately was bad for me and I just couldn't shack it. I am trying. Well I am going to hit the shower now and maybe I will feel better after that. Thanks for listening and please pray for us. Thanks

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Another day.

Well our friends that are so secretive and that were checking on my old blog to find out my every move had a baby girl on Tuesday June 30. Her name is Hailey Marie 8lbs, 21 inches. I am happy for them. I really am.
I did have something personal to ask. If anyone has gone through what I have. This is the issue and I usually don't feel comfortable talking about this personal of stuff but I don't hear of anyone that goes through what I do and I want to see if it is normal for anyone else. So my period is about 5-6 days long and it is heavy and lots of cramps but the kicker is that a week before my period I start spotting the whole week before it and then comes the period. The spotting gets worse when I am doing work outside or exercising. This has been going on for at least 3 year but got a little worse in the past year after the invetro. Now I told my infertility specialist and she said it could be just my hormones but they kept track of all of that when I was going through the invetro. Yes I do have hypothyroid but I am tested every six months and on meds for it and it is within normal range. I have asked my ob too and he doesn't see anything wrong with that but tells me I could go on birth control but when you are on that I am scared to increase my risk of cancer because now with my dad passing from cancer and also with the pill you gain weight and I don't always feel so good on it. So I told my ob that I didn't want to do that and he said that would be the only thing to regulate it. I told him but period is regulated it comes when it needs to but I spot when any activity happens and they it stays with me. I feel like I only have 2 weeks without a pad and then another 2 weeks with a pad. It stinks. I have never heard anyone with this problem. As you know when you go through infertility they do billions of test to rule everything out and a ton of blood work and they didn't find anything but an under active thyroid. Just wondering if anyone goes through this or knows someone who went through it and is it normal. Thanks for listening.