Monday, June 6, 2011

What my Decision was on the procedure

So up until yesterday I thought I was having the endometrial ablation done. Well I have been asking my husband to look at the pentathlete for the procedure for week and do you think he did no. No that is until yesterday he decided to pick it up and he told me no he didn't want me having it. I was shocked because number 1 that he read about it and 2 because he told me no.

He stated that we have not used protection in how many years and this procedure you need to use protection or if the off chance I were to get pregnant that it is life threatening to myself as well as a baby. I guess when we read about it more online about what it has done to others who were as young as myself they would get pregnant not know they were pregnant because a lot of the times you don't get a period with the procedure the baby dies of course in most cases because there is no lining in the uterus since burned away by procedure and people have dies from the poisoning in there blood stream and issues with the other organs. I told my husband but what are our chances of that ever happening and he says with our luck it would happen and he didn't want to take any chances because he couldn't live with himself it did happen. So I am not going through with it. Not sure what else to do about the problems like the bleeding and spotting and painful periods. Right now I am just on birth control and was planning on being on it for a few months and getting off hope it regulated it.

Okay so this weekend is the match party coming up. My mother in law keeps telling me to not consider any sibling groups because she thinks that will effect Justin as the siblings will have a strong bond to one another and Justin will feel left out and it might hurt him. Any one have any thoughts on this? I am not sure if I am thinking the right way and is she correct? Not sure and was wondering about suggestions. Thanks

Thursday, June 2, 2011

This is a life changing decision

Well I have been thinking about having endometrial ablation done. I have been thinking about it the last few months. I have really bad cramps and heavy bleeding with my periods and I spot for like a week or 2 sometimes before my period. This has been since I was 16 that I had been cramping so bad the pain would make me throw up. It is hard because I feel like when I know my period is coming that I won't be able to do anything. It came this memorial day weekend but luckily my friend gave me some of her nuproxen to get me through the weekend so I was not in bed with the heating pad.

My husband and I 2 weeks ago got into it a little because some personal things that he didn't tell me as he told me he didn't want to hurt my feeling because I am always bleeding and obviously that means I don't have sex. Sorry to get so personal and I didn't want to but this is another piece of the puzzle as to why I am thinking about this. I felt worse when he told me because I feel like I couldn't have a kid for him and now I can't even have sex because of this horrible spotting.

I have tried the pill and it makes it better but once I get off it goes back to the way it is a 2-3 month. I don't want to stay on the pill my whole life I feel tired on it and gain wait or can't loose any. I also don't want to increase my chance of cancer.

I went to the doctor and they said everything is normal like the infertility specialist has said and every other doctor but he noticed my endometiral lining was borderline in size meaning that my body doesn't shed like you do when you have a period like it is suppose to so my uterus keeps contracting to get it to shed when it hasn't and that is why I spot and cramp so bad. Finally I have an answer. The way you fix it is hormone therapy. Well that means the pill and that is not what I want the rest of my life.

The doctor scheduled my endometrial biopsy for Monday and he has to do that before he will do the procedure. The doctor just kept telling me you do this you will never have an opportunity to have any kids. I know that but what life is it to live like this all the time. Life on my period. I am not having any kids anyway. My husband says if that is what I want to do that is fine but that he doesn't want me to be upset with my decision. I know I will always morn the loss of not experiencing child birth but I think I am not in that stage of my life. Doctor still wants me to think about this but I have for month my husband just makes me almost doubt myself like we might have a chance and I thought we were on the same page that ship has sailed. My husband told me he would want me to be pregnant for me and to see me happy. I told him I wanted to know what he felt. He said he is perfectly happy with Justin and only want to have or adopt another one for Justin and I. My mind is now all over. I am all for it but now my mother in law heard I was thinking about this and she is upset and thinks I need to give it more time. I am over it but I don't think everyone else understands what I go through with these periods and already morning the loss of not getting pregnant. Please tell me what you think. I know you can't make the decision for me and it is my decision but I just want some input. What would you do if you were me?