Thursday, June 2, 2011

This is a life changing decision

Well I have been thinking about having endometrial ablation done. I have been thinking about it the last few months. I have really bad cramps and heavy bleeding with my periods and I spot for like a week or 2 sometimes before my period. This has been since I was 16 that I had been cramping so bad the pain would make me throw up. It is hard because I feel like when I know my period is coming that I won't be able to do anything. It came this memorial day weekend but luckily my friend gave me some of her nuproxen to get me through the weekend so I was not in bed with the heating pad.

My husband and I 2 weeks ago got into it a little because some personal things that he didn't tell me as he told me he didn't want to hurt my feeling because I am always bleeding and obviously that means I don't have sex. Sorry to get so personal and I didn't want to but this is another piece of the puzzle as to why I am thinking about this. I felt worse when he told me because I feel like I couldn't have a kid for him and now I can't even have sex because of this horrible spotting.

I have tried the pill and it makes it better but once I get off it goes back to the way it is a 2-3 month. I don't want to stay on the pill my whole life I feel tired on it and gain wait or can't loose any. I also don't want to increase my chance of cancer.

I went to the doctor and they said everything is normal like the infertility specialist has said and every other doctor but he noticed my endometiral lining was borderline in size meaning that my body doesn't shed like you do when you have a period like it is suppose to so my uterus keeps contracting to get it to shed when it hasn't and that is why I spot and cramp so bad. Finally I have an answer. The way you fix it is hormone therapy. Well that means the pill and that is not what I want the rest of my life.

The doctor scheduled my endometrial biopsy for Monday and he has to do that before he will do the procedure. The doctor just kept telling me you do this you will never have an opportunity to have any kids. I know that but what life is it to live like this all the time. Life on my period. I am not having any kids anyway. My husband says if that is what I want to do that is fine but that he doesn't want me to be upset with my decision. I know I will always morn the loss of not experiencing child birth but I think I am not in that stage of my life. Doctor still wants me to think about this but I have for month my husband just makes me almost doubt myself like we might have a chance and I thought we were on the same page that ship has sailed. My husband told me he would want me to be pregnant for me and to see me happy. I told him I wanted to know what he felt. He said he is perfectly happy with Justin and only want to have or adopt another one for Justin and I. My mind is now all over. I am all for it but now my mother in law heard I was thinking about this and she is upset and thinks I need to give it more time. I am over it but I don't think everyone else understands what I go through with these periods and already morning the loss of not getting pregnant. Please tell me what you think. I know you can't make the decision for me and it is my decision but I just want some input. What would you do if you were me?


  1. If it were me and my cramps were unbearable, I would do it. Well, some months my cramps ARE unbearable, but that is only a few times a year. When they are that bad, I just want to die, they hurt so BAD. But mine aren't endo related.
    My bit of advise is something I want to pass on from a book I read several months back. The author had already decided she would never be able to be pregnant. And she was okay with that. But when she had her surgery and knew she could never have kids, she went through the grieving process all over again.

    I would suspect that is normal. I know I can't get pregnant. I KNOW I can't. But when I think of having surgery, I get all teary because even though I KNOW I can't, its just so final. I probably will have a hysterectomy someday, I'm just waiting for better timing in my life.

    If you do decide to do it, I would guarentee you'll go through the grieving process again. That doesn't mean you are supposed to back out, its just nature's way of having one final goodbye.

    Pray about it and seek inside your heart. If it feels right, then do it. Then just pray again as the grief comes that you will be able to handle the grief.

  2. It is a hard decision. We adopted 4 kids in 09 so our family is complete. I still wonder what it would be like to be preg. But it passes quickly. Everyone deals with infertility different.
    I had this done and I had no problems. I only had one spell of cramping and bleeding. I can not imagine what u have gone through. My lining was thick due to pcos. I also had biopsy first. I had the ablation done with a balloon that was heated to destroy uterine lining. Don't remember the medical terms. It worked good. Good luck making the decision.