Monday, January 4, 2010

Thanks for all the support

I appreciate all the support and well wishes. I don't think I explained once we find out about the parental rights being terminated what happens. Well my understanding from what I am told we start going through the placement process after rights are termed. Meaning that there is a 6 month placement. Yes after we already had him it is and additional 6 month placement because the court considers us having him now as DHS (Department of Human Services) having him right now because they have guardianship of him right now so they consider this period of time as if he was with DHS. Yes they acknowledge how long we had him and all but on your foster license it states who is responsible which are's says DHS. All states are different we live in Michigan and I hear this is the hardest state to adopt children they are some much more strict and give way to many chances. My little guy right now has been in care his whole life and we are now dealing with a lot of issues with him. He is getting aggressive and not listening and lying about some of the worst stuff. He actually today told my husband Tim that he choked him. I was in the same room and I told him to look me in the eye and tell me the truth and he looked me right in the eye and smirked and nodded his head yes. I explained to him that was very serious and you should never tell lies. He then tonight as I put him to bed I warned him not to get out of bed and he threw himself on the ground right in front of me so I picked him up and put him in his bed and told him that he wasn't playing with the toys in the other room tomorrow after he then told he I hit him and then started to cry. The minute my husband walked in the room he started baling that I hit him and then my husband said oh look you must have lost this and looked down on the floor to see what he would do and he dried those tears right up and leaned toward the edge of the bed and said what is it. Just to show you he was trying to play us. I told him how did I hit him and then he said I pinched him the story changed. I just was telling my husband he is trying to get us in trouble. We have been waiting for a child for 4 1/2 year and we originally wanted an infant and then I saw how many kids needed a home and I decided that was going to be the way we were going to go. Don't get me wrong I am grateful that we have him but MANN does he just push to the limit were we just want to enjoy a child and he makes it difficult when he gets in trouble all the time and is now starting to talk back badly. This all started on Christmas and it just hasn't stopped for a minute and it gets tiresome some days. I even ask him can we please just have a good day today. I just can't wait till Jan 13 comes because then we are one step closer to adopting him. Then it would be final in 6 months.
I also got a little nerved up today. I have a hypothyroid and I went into the doctor like any other time to get my refill on prescription and she tells me I have a module on my thyroid that she wants me to go in to a ultrasound. then she goes on to explain how there is an increase risk in your late 20's early 30 for thyroid cancer and starts giving me statistics. She scared the living daylights out of me she just kept talking about the chance of cancer and that I would have to then have a biopsy if it is a certain size then either surgery or radiation on my thyroid and then I asked what if it is under the size she says then you have to come back in 6 months to have another ultrasound. It is like she just wants to keep with this and scare me half to death. I had my dad dye of cancer at 48 the last thing I need her to preach about is cancer. I just came home and started crying and called my husband. So only you, the doctor and my husband and I know about this and I am not telling anyone until I get the results back. I got for the ultrasound this Thursday and I see her back on the 25. I know I don't need all this right now. I am only 28 and feel the stress which I know is not good for anyone. I am trying to just put it in the back of my head right now just another thing. Crazy I tell you.


  1. Girly! You, your husband and your lil man are in my thoughts and prayers! Keep your head up!

  2. he is testing you to see if you will give him back, it is something most if not all foster kids will do. Just make sure you document everything. He is testing you right now, the honeymoon is over. It will get better. It may take along time but just keep loving him. He may be having a trigger also of a bad memory, even young kids can trigger even if they dont know why, Subconsciously it is there (especially around the holidays)

  3. Holidays are hard for foster children. Plus you are right at the time for the honeymoon phase to be over. Hang in there and BE CONSISTENT. Make sure you stick to your guns so he feels safe. You are doing a great job with this little guy. Don't react to his allegations because if he senses that it bothers you or puts you on edge with him he will continue. He is going to push your buttons for a while but if none of them light up it won't be fun anymore. Stay calm and blow him off when he falsely accuses you but definitely document everything.

    I am so sorry about this cancer scare. You really have a lot of stress on you right now. May God comfort you during this time.

  4. I agree with Tricia and Kelly. He is testing you, and he also obviously knows the system very well...he is a smart one for sure. Kelly is right, that Holidays are hard on these kids as it brings up thoughts of family. Your honeymoon does sound like it is over, it will get better.

  5. if you had to have surgery, it would suck, but there are worse things. i've had 2 brain surgeries in the past year, and although it hurts, i am SO GRATEFUL because a lot of people don't have access to that level of medical care. sometimes people can't afford it & are left to die, especially in other countries. try to see it as a good thing that if there is something - and that's IF there is something - then at least it's apparently caught early & you will be able to have treatment. my grandma has had 3 kinds of cancer & my Mom had it a couple years ago, and they're fine at the moment. my stepdad was given weeks to live and that was over a decade ago.

    if i let myself get upset over facing a lifetime of brain surgeries (i'll need them every few years minimum for the rest of my life, most likely every year at least) & and being sick since i was 4 (i'm 23 now) i'd never enjoy life. i'm choosing to look at the positive things because to do otherwise hurts nobody but myself. i'm praying you'll get to a place where you can do the same thing.