Thursday, August 27, 2009
No news yet
So you know I said that e-mail I got last Wednesday said my social worker would know more and get back to me by the end of next week. Well it is the end of next week. Well technically it is not Friday yet but it is 4:08 on a Thursday. So I decided to e-mail her. Of course I am anxiously waiting to hear. You know what my husband told me that didn't make me feel better. He said "well babe, you can't get your hopes up and if she hasn't e-mailed or called us yet it must not be legit". How is that suppose to make me feel better. I watched the video "The Secret", where they tell you if you are positive and you know what you want it will come to you. If you think about the good things, then good things will happen and if you think of bad thing, bad things will continue to happen. I can agree with this to an extent. But some days it is extremely hard to look on the bright side of things, especially lately. Well in the video it said you should practice and it will come more easily to you to think positive. Then it stated to help you can write a list of the things you are grateful for which I have and write what you want a bunch of times to keep the positive momentum going in your head. So instead of that I took a piece of paper and wrote on in in big letters " We will have those 2 little boys from DHS by Labor day!". Oh yeah they said to set a goal that is obtainable to have your wish come true. Well I took this paper and I put it in front of my computer at work so I can remember and today when I was working at home I put it in front of my computer as a reminder. Well I have been doing this since Monday when I started to feel like this might not happen and I wanted to get into it. Well it has been working but then today it started not working. I started to get some doubts, which in turn is when I e-mailed the social worker. I know I am jumping to conclusions but do you know in this week of waiting feel like 3 months of waiting. It feels horrible. Every day checking my phone and e-mail, even calling Tim to see if any news and stupid me he says don't you think I would have called you. I know I feel neurotic. I just want that happy ending in the end. To be a mother as I have always dreamed. I know I still have some time, but I know tomorrow is Tim and I's 5 year wedding anniversary and we are leaving for Trevor City for our 5 years. I wish I knew before I left. Hopefully she will e-mail tomorrow because today it probably to late. Cross your fingers and pray for me PLEASE! Pretty Please (hahahaha). Talk to you all soon.