Hi to all my blogging friends. I had a great vacation for our 5 year anniversary. We went to Traverse City which is beautiful and had a lot of fun. I will try to post these pictures the end of this week if not the beginning of next week.
I would also like to thank Savannah from "Countless Tomorrows" blog who is my blogging buddy for telling me about this blog " http://anothersmalladventure.blogspot.com/ . It is a great blog. Every Monday for those who are thinking of adoption or planning to adopt, she puts children who are looking to be adopted on there. They are of all ages. It is funny because a lot of these children I have seen on the state website but I didn't know how to pursue it at the time. I think this is a great blog that I felt I must share with all of you.
I feel like some times anyone I talk to in the outside world that I talk with every day truly don't understand what I am going through and when I come on here and blog I feel like people can relate and give great advice and this is one of the situations I ask all you blogging friends to help me with. So these 2 little boys I have been waiting to hear back on. Well I didn't update you on this because I didn't even have an answer before we left on our trip. She said 2 weeks ago at DHS she would call me and know more the end of next week which was last week. Well I e-mailed her on Thursday of last week to see if she had heard anything since I didn't hear from her yet. Well I checked my e-mail 2 times on our vacation and I know bad me. No e-mail from her. Then I waited until Tuesday to call her. I don't think I can go into to much detail but I will try to explain the situation. Well I called and got a hold of her and asked her what the status was. She proceeds to tell me that the foster mother wants to adopt one brother and not the other and that DHS won't separate the boys. This is the way it should be I am thinking. She said that this women does a lot of fostering for them. Which makes me think that are being careful to upset her for some reason. I don't know the foster care world very well so I don't know. Then DHS said will I be willing to do respite care. She said it really isn't that but they call it that when the foster parent can't take care of the kids for what ever reason (going on vacation, needs a break, passing in the family, ect.) that we would watch the kids for her for like a day or two. I was a little hesitant then she explains that she is only asking so #1 we would get to know the kids and #2 that the foster parent would meet us and may feel more at ease when she meets us. So we said sure. But, I still don't understand so if someone knows please let me know, if the parents rights are terminated, I know that they make sure all relatives are not going after the child, then they offer the children to be adopted by the foster mother and if they decline that they get put up for adoption. Well if DHS tells the foster mom no that she would have to adopt both or none of the kids why wouldn't DHS let them go up for adoption since they offered and the foster mom is not agreeing on the offer. And it also doesn't make sense because it feels like they are trying to stay on this foster mom's good side so she will continue to take in more kids but why would you want someone who would want sibling split up to foster more children. I guess I don't get it. It makes no sense to me. My reason I really need advice is that when I talked to her on Tuesday she said that she didn't call me back because she got a call from foster mom on Monday on her voice mail and she needed to call her back to find out the status. She told me once she calls her she will e-mail or call me back later that day or early today. Well surprise, surprise no call back or e-mail from her. How long do I wait to contact her back? What would you do if you were me? I heard that people have said to stay on top of a social worker but I don't want to make her mad or annoyed with me but I want her to know I am here. I feel like she keeps telling me she is going to do something and never follows through. It is like why tell me something if you are not going to follow through. This is my life on the line and my world on hold and I feel like that is not important to her nor do I feel like she understands. I need some advice please of what to do or what is the process or issue. I am just frustrated. Every time there is good news it feels like another road block. I just want her to tell me if there is good potential of them being ours or if not so that I am not stopping what I am doing, and dreaming of what it will be like to have a family, and thinking about all the stuff I would need to buy before they come, and how I will surprise our families with meeting them for the first time. Yeah they don't know what is going on with the adoption. They know we are on a list but I we have gotten our hopes up before and I don't want then to get there hope up with us, or to ask everyday if we heard something. Not only that but when you get pregnant you get the exciting ways you can thing of to tell your family. I always planned that if I got pregnant that I would let them know by writing a card to them from the baby and say something like "I can't wait to meet you (grandma, grandpa, aunt or uncle) mom and dad have told me so much about you and I can't wait to finally be spoiled by your love" and then attach a picture of the sonogram. Something like that. I always thought that would be cute but with adoption they are just waiting and if I tell them about a potential child that may join our family and it falls through it is like a miscarriage or they feel funny asking you anything as to not upset you and then if we get them were is the big surprise of us telling them. I was hoping to get the boys and I imagined calling them and asking them over for dinner and them meeting the boys. I thought about if it was this labor day (which I highly doubt would happen now but a few weeks ago it sounded possible) I would bring the boys up north for the trip we take every labor day together and meet everyone. Tim's Brother is coming for labor day from Chicago and we don't see him and his wife much and I thought that would be neat for the whole family to meet them. I don't know these are just my hopes and dream but as we all know they don't always come true which is the hard part. Thank you all for listening and I appreciate it if you do know anything about the process of the foster care world or what you think of the situation or what you would do.