Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Made the desion on Monday and it still hurts

So I told them no on Monday to taking all 3 kids or splitting all 3 kids which ever way you look at it and it still hurts. I think about them and wonder if they found a home for them. I thought this would be easy without ever meeting them and putting a face to these kids. I have never meet them or anything before but my heart still aches for them. I have said no before but it never felt like this. I say no and think about them the rest of the day but then try to push them out of my head so that I don't dwell like I am now about them. This time my mind just keeps going while I can tell my husband is totally different and has thought about it again since saying no. I don't know why this is and if anyone else has felt this but it is bothering me and I wanted to share.

2 comments:

  1. I think once you let your mind go far enough into the thought process to move rooms around and picture them in your home it is harder. Adoption is such an emotional roller coaster. Time. More time...will help heal your heart. Sorry for your pain. I completely understand.

    I heard today that they gave the bio mom of the three I told you about 90 more days before moving forward with TPR.

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  2. Are you planning on taking them in if it goes to adoption or are you still not sure.

    This is just so hard and my husband doesn't understand why I am struggling so much with it and I like you said imagined them in my house and it jsut hurts but thanks for your on going support

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