Monday, April 18, 2011

One of the hardest decisions

This was one of the more difficult decisions I had to make. It was like a double edge sword, doomed if I do and doomed if I don't. I know DHS was really counting on me taking these kids but it did kind of hurt that they lied to me in such a sneaky way. I have decided not to take the children. It was really hard. I would like to thank Savannah and Kelly for your input it really helped and put things in perspective and gave me support and something to think about. I didn't really share this with friends or family and I know they just wouldn't understand they would think I was crazy for even considering it so I wasn't going to tell them anything unless we took the kids in. I didn't want the negative comments I wanted supportive comments on pros and cons and what others would do in my situation. You all understand because you want to adopt and have a love for kids as I do. Most of the people in my world never have adopted or even considered it or even had infertility issues so they don't know what this is like. I really wanted to take these kids in but my husband was not on board for having a total of 4 children especially all at once. We have to agree together and I know it was a stretch for him to consider having 3 let alone 4. Also we wouldn't have room in either one of our vehicles to hold a family of 6. Only for a family of 5 and not room for the kids to have there own space that I think they deserve to have. I can make room for 3 kids but 4 is a stretch. I felt like if I didn't take them I would feel bad about it and let these kids down even though they didn't know about us. If I took them I would feel bad even if it works out that they would be separated because of us not willing to take the 10 year old as well. My husband kind of felt bad too and even considered taking in just the 10 year old but like I told him it is the same situation as us taking the younger two as they would need a place for all 3 and if we are not willing then we shouldn't as I don't want these kids to be separated they have been through enough and deserve each other. I pray there is a person out there that can open there heart and soul to these children and take all 3 in as I can't separate them. Thank all though for the support and hopefully another opportunity will arise and I can share with you. :)


  1. I put spaces in my paragraphs but they seem to get pushed together when I post and not sure why I thought it would work for sure this time the last few times I posted it didn't work

  2. My heart goes out to you. But when its about your own family and how it will affect them, you have to think about them before you can think abotu your wants alone, and those kids needs. Hopefully God has a plan in store for them so they can all end up together.

  3. I know this was a tough one but you were 100% right on with going with what is best for your family and what you and your hubby can agree on.

    Can't wait to hear about your next call.

    I am proud of you for making this decision even though I know your heart hurts. Just pray for them, sometimes that is all we can do and all that God is calling us to do.