Yes they are still living with us. We are working things out with an instant 3 kids. It is not easy and I know 3 is more then enough for our family. Justin is adapting pretty well. He still has some issues with the little one but is doing much better. I have more issues with the 7 year old just testing me the most she can. She acts like a little premadonna and I am trying to give her a little more of real life. To be a kid but make up and perfume is not right for a 7 year old girl. She has temper tantrums like a teenager and acts like a teenage instead of a 7 year old and I have to constantly remind her she is 7. I also have to constantly explain to both her and Justin that I am the parents and I will make the rules not them telling each other or scolding each other for the rules. 7 year old she just craves attention and I try my best to give it but with 3 kids, a dog, a husband and my new position that demands me to now be at work with no days from home, you can imagine how much time I have just to shower. I don't know how people do it with more then 3 and work it is a crazy schedule but I do it for them and Justin. Justin is so happy with them. The kids already call me mom or mama. I keep reminding them to do it when they feel more comfortable but the social worker explained they never really had a mom and 7 year old and the little guy crave for that mother's love. As far as birth dad he is so far not following the plan and we find out the first of November if the kids will stay or not. Everyone is telling me it is an adoptable situation but you know I have to have a little guard up to protect myself but even though I keep reminding Justin this can be temporary I can tell he is attached.
We had the little guys birthday party yesterday and he loved it. He got Mickey, Cars, and Toy Story and loved it. He had so much fun playing with his siblings.
Today 7 year old girl told me today for the first time she loved me. I was amazed. The kids right now are swimming in the pool. The 4 year old is in his life jacket and floaty and my chair is sitting next to the pool with this on my lap because this is a minute I have that I can share my adventures. They are having a ball singing and enjoying the sun and pool and asking me mom watch me do this and this and now watch me. They are having a great time. Hope you enjoyed the post I will post more when I have more time to share.
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So glad to get the update. Thought about you often. Stick to your parenting and show them they can trust you to take care of them. It is so hard and time consuming and exhausting when hurt children first come home. Main thing is consistency in your love and discipline and care. When you can, do everything for them as though they are much younger so that they can see that you will take care of them. The seven needs to be allowed to be a kid and not feel like she has to be a teen or adult. It is very normal for her to have taken on this role because it is common for the older child to have been the caregiver of the younger siblings. Don't allow her to continue in this role. It is critical at this point for her to let you be the parent. You are sooooo right to put a stop to the makeup and teenager stuff. She has plenty of time for these things and at seven it is not appropriate. Be careful what she watches on TV that it is very child like and not preteen flirting and prissy and sassy stuff.
ReplyDeleteI have more put my I pad is acting up. I'll be back later. So excited for you. What a wonderful, exciting journey your a beginning. I'll be back. Keep me posted.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I have done with my six year old little girl is dress her a bit younger. I buy her knit pant and leggings with flair tops instead of jeans or short shorts and tight t shirts. It is harder to find the looser clothes and they cost a bit more but my Delaney becomes a different person, and instant premadonna, when she wears jeans and short shorts. She dances around provocatively and slings her hips...it is sickening to watch. Be sure you are firm but loving, of course, in your discipline of seven year old. Right now is the time you are setting the stage for how she perceives you as a strong or weak disciplinarian. I know it is hard because you want her to like you but it is so much more important for her to know she can trust you to take care of her than for her to like you.
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