Monday, March 7, 2011

contraversial topic but need opinion

I know religion is controversial and I don't usually like to talk about religion on my blog as to not preach to push any of my beliefs on anyone so I am going to try to make this as light as possible.

OK this is a topic that has come up since we found out that Justin was going to be ours forever. I am Catholic and I have been Baptised, made my communion and confirmation. My Husband is Baptist not practicing. When we got married we said we would raise our kids Catholic as I was and Tim didn't practice and didn't mind what I wanted to do.

Well we also at the time thought we were going to get pregnant and have a baby then that didn't happen. We thought when we would adopt it would be an infant and that didn't happen.

God obviously had a different plan for us that was for the best even thought we couldn't see it at the time.

Well those plans were different we were able to adopt our wonderful son Justin at the age of 4 turning 5 when he came into our home. Well at the time he wasn't ready for Kindergarten and his teacher in Kindergarten told us that she thought he would do best in small 5's at Immanuel Lutheran church. Well even though it was a church that was not my religion I heard it was the best schools so I brought him there. They were awesome. He learned so much and there were very kid friendly. They taught the kids about what they would learn in kindergarten but also taught him about god and the Lutheran religion. He made a lot of friends and was very comfortable with the church. I feel he needs a religion and he like Immanuel Lutheran church and when I brought him to the Catholic church for a service he was not very good there and had trouble sitting still. They really were not as kid friendly as the Lutheran church. The Lutheran church brought him on stage with other kids incorporated the kids in the service and kind of made it funny and light hearted as they taught the kids about the religion.

My husband is not helping me in what I should do. He really never I am Catholic and this shouldn't be a big deal but I don't want Justin to feel he doesn't have the same religion as Tim and I. As we would all have a different religion. I just want to do what is best for Justin. I am not sure what that is. Do I go on my beliefs or is that close minded and selfish or do I bring him to a church he is familiar and happy with because that is best for him. I am just not sure and wanted some input. I want what is best for Justin and need some help on what you would do if you were me. I know religion is your belief and what is best for you but I is not for me it is for Justin. I am leaning toward the Lutheran church since he liked it there and made friends with many there as well as the pastor. We had went there for the 10 months he was there.

I want to have him baptized but where at. I need to make a desion for Justin on what religion now that he is officially adopted and we have all the documentation since we needed that documentation to have him baptized I need to make this happen. We say our prayers every night and he asks many questions about God and religion and heaven and a bunch of questions I sometimes don't know how to explain.

Justin has been very scared about death. Not his death but Tim and I dying. He asks many questions about my dad and why he dies young and I try to explain the best I can. I explain about heaven and that we will all see each other there but then he says why don't we just die now so we can also be with your dad. It is so hard to explain especially to him especially when it is about my dad. He really wish he meet my dad. He has told me so many time before. I try to put his mind at ease that nothing will happen to us and we will always be there for him and that he has many family members that love him and will always be there.

I am 29 years old and will admit I have lost my way with my faith since my dad but since Justin has come into my life I have wanted to change that. I also want to help with poor and underprivileged. I am trying to look for places in my area where I can donate my time and help people that are less fortunate. I am very serious about this and want to do my part. Thank you for letting me explain me situation and please be polite. I know about religion and how people get very hot and bothered about the topic and I just want input on what to do. Thank you


  1. Hi, I'm a Christian (protestant but to me its the same religion - to me lutheran and baptists are just different denominations of the same religion. So they just have different styles of worshipping the same God and Jesus and the same Bible. For me I consider Catholic to be the same christian religion also, just different style, and the Catholic and Lutheran churches I've seen actually were pretty similar styles. But I know there are some differences in Catholicism so it depends how strongly you feel about those. If. You feel strongly, then its ok, follow your beliefs.

    I adopted from foster care also and know how important it is to help kids who are struggling have a good church that is welcoming and helps them. So either way I would take him to the lutheran kids program sometimes. The fact that he likes something good, you want to encourage this, in my opinion. The rest depends on your feelings and beliefs. If you believe the Catholic church has the truth, then I would go to both churches. Maybe alternate weeks. Or you can go to the Catholic church by yourself until he gets older and just teach him the principles at home. Tell him you believe the Catholic faith and have him baptized there, but that lutheran is similar and still Christian and same God, and this particular church has a good kids program so that's why you also go there now.
    I think that's a good way to help him but also stay true to your beliefs. Also in discussions, try to concentrate on the ideas that are the same.
    For answering his questions, maybe you can give him some books, or sometimes they have christian counselling at churches. Or maybe after the service he can talk to a Sunday school teacher or pastor who is nice?
    Good luck!

  2. I agree, denominations are not different religions.

    But, it is a good idea to go together. Look into the differences between the churches, mostly it is how they view communion. And how worship should be done. And see how much of it you really disagree or agree with. Then find a church that meets your needs, a Methodist church or Unitarian or Presbyterian might be a good compromise.

    I'd try to get Tim to go with you once a month and special days. Obviously Tim is a great guy and will do what is best for Justin. Additionally it's more important that Justin learn the basics of salvation than church rules.

  3. The MOST important thing is that Justin develops a personal relationship with Christ. There are so many religions and they do have individual beliefs but don't get caught up in those trivial things.

    My advice would be to (1)find a church that the three of you go TOGETHER. That says so much to children. (2) Find a church where you are all comfortable. Where you have things in common with the people at the church and in small group settings where you really get to know others. (3) Find a church that is going to meet the spiritual needs and social needs of all of you. For example: lots of kids his age that do things together, a womens group that you can be a part of and a mens group or basketball league or something that interests your hubby.

    Even if Tim doesn't go with you now be sure to pick a church where he would feel comfortable and pray diligently that he will come with you.

    Go regularly to form the habit of going. Get involved where ever you choose. Church is the most fulfilling when you put yourself into the work of the church.

    I think it is wonderful that you are being so sensitive to Justin's needs. You will make the right decision. Pray and God will lead you to the right church.