Saturday, September 11, 2010

September 15

So September 15 is the appeal hearing in Lansing and I couldn't be more excited. I don't know if we will hear that day as they put the decision on the appeals website then send a letter out a week later and you know I can't wait that long for a letter. So we just have to wait.

Today is my sister in laws bachlorette party and next week is the wedding were just will get to be a ring barrier. Very exciting for him. We have been keeping busy lately and try to get on more now that Justin is at school. He seems to have been having angry outburst lately I am not sure if that is because he just start school this week or that the adoption is almost done or maybe both but we have been going through a crazy roller coaster lately.

I totally don't mean to be negative but I have to get this off my chest so I can have a good time to night and not thing about this. I wish my dad were here. My mom makes me so mad. She won't say it but I know when we decided we were going to adopt I know she really wasn't on board with the idea. She is a very close minded person which is sad. I know Tim's parents were not sure about it but like I thought when we had a child they would fall in love and that would all go away. Well that totally happened with Tim's family. They adore him and will do absolutely anything for him and see him as our child. My mom DIFFERENT STORY. She makes me mad bad because she is so ignorant. Everyone that comes in contact with Justin loves him because he is loving and very out going and a funny engaging kid. My mom thinks he is a great kid and smiles and laughed the last time she saw him which by the way was when we went to Florida in February. But she never really sees him as ours and that makes me mad. When she calls she never ever asks to talk to him or asks how he is doing. I would think as a new grandma and your only grandchild that she would want to come out and visit at least even to visit us. The last time she has been out here is July 2007 right after my dad died. She hasn't been out here since and the only time she seer's us is when we go out there every year and she makes me feel bad to visit Tim's parents when they go out there for 3 month because I don't get to see her and I should spend all my time with here and she can give a crap about me or my family which makes me mad because now as a mom I don't understand it. I still hold a grudge that she never came out here to see Justin when he first came to our home. Ok so now this is why I bring her up because I told her that the appeal is on Sept 15 (which she didn't ask I just told her) and that the adoption lady thinks that it will take 2 weeks to get a finalize with the court and then we would possibly have an adoption party for Justin in October some time. She told me that is good. I asked are you going to come. Which then was awkward silence and then with work and my new husband's work and everything I don't think so. I wouldn't count on it. Then I asked if she would even consider it that it would mean a alot to Justin and she said she promise she will send a card and a gift so he knows they are thinking of him. I wanted to scream it is not about the money. Any time she didn't come out here before Justin she would always send money in a card and stuff and what she doesn't understand as many times as you tell her is it is not about the money it is about you showing your support.

I bring this up because I really wanted her to love Justin and accept him as ours but I can't force her. I really don't know if I want her in my life any more if she can't show an effort. I make and effort every time and she doesn't' do a thing. We are two totally different people and if you have been following my blog for a while you know we don't have the best relationships and that my dad and I were close and after his passing I have felt alone when it comes to my family. Luckily I have Tim's wonderful family but I wanted to share mine with Justin. I think what makes me want to sever ties is that if she wants to crap on Tim or myself fine I will let that fly but not Justin. I won't let her treat Justin that way. He has been through enough not to have a grandma be like that. He calls my mom "mom's mom". That is how he knows her. I don't ask him even to call her grandma even though he knows she is because she has never made an effort. I am really opening this up but any thought? I am sick of her crap and what she puts the family through. She likes to call when she needs something but if your mom wants to not be there for your son who is an awesome kid and has always showed Tim and I in the past that she just doesn't care and I have wanted to sever ties for a long time but with my dad's sickness I didn't want my dad to feel the stress and then I kept her in our lives for Justin to have another grandma. She is just not there. I am at the end of my rope and he not wanting to go to his adoption party with no good excuse feels like this is the issue that broke the camels back. I am just beyond upset and mad and want some input on what you would do or what you think I should do. I feel very hurt but at the same time I am moving that to the back of my head because I am busy with the bachlorette party today the wedding next Saturday and Justin's appeal I just want to be int he moment with all these things with out her bringing me down as she has done so many times in the past. Thank you. On a positive note I have to get ready but I will talk to you all soon and have a great weekend. :)


  1. I'm so glad we got to meet impromptu in person!!! :) I'm sorry you're experiencing such a difficult situation with your mom - especially during a time in your life that is so joyous! I would not consciously "cut her out" of your life...I think you would come to regret that decision later in life. Better that the indifference and lack of love be on her part - not yours. That being said, I have a couple relationships like the one you described with her. And it's okay to focus on your family and stop putting forth an effort to make it work with your mom.

    God will fill her place in Justin's life with another, if she's not willing to fully participate. There is no way that kid is lacking for love. It just oozes out of you and all of your family (I saw it!)

    I would leave the door open with your mom and extend love when you can, but focus your time and energy on relationships that give back.

    I'm hoping to hear news soon on your finalization! I'll keep checking back!

  2. Thanks for you input that means a lot and I enjoyed meeting you in person as well. I hope to talk to you soon until then I will let you know what happens but as of yet no responce on the appeal situation.

  3. Just checking on you. Hope everything is okay. Would love to hear from you. if you need to talk.