Thursday, July 15, 2010

Any Idea's, Advice please help!

I am sorry but I am getting very impatient about this long wait with this appeal. I feel they made the decision to terminate right with in 2 weeks of the trial and now birth dad does an appeal 2 weeks later and we are still waiting. Terminated 1/13/10 and appealed 2/8/10. We are now in July and school is coming in September. We were first told by Justin's social work a few weeks then 2-3 months then if might take is little longer but we should hear something in July. I received the permanency planning hearing information from his social worker from 6/1/10. I states parents terminated 1/13/10 but then states word for word

" the primary barrier to adoption is hat birth father on 2/8/10, filed an appeal again termination of parental right decision. The appeal process is still pending which will delay the adoption until a decision is made. The anticipated adoption date is July 2010."

Then I got an e-mail yesterday from our adoption worker stating that she had good new and not so good news. Good news was that we were approved for the adoption through the state and we have consent (what ever that means) as of 7/7/10. She says on there end they are all ready to go ahead once they hear the appeal is finalized we can get a court date. The not so good news she put was that she talked to the attorney general (I don't know who this is) but she said that it may be a few more months because of later paper work on behalf of birth dad's lawyer.

I don't understand this because I don't know how this process work. I don't understand they said if things come in late they don't take them. The extension came in late and they threw that out and wouldn't take it. I just don't want him to freak when we go to kindergarten with a different name and he has been asking "mom when am I going to be your last name and when am I going to have my adoption party". This is tuff because it is tuff for me to wait anymore but for him it is agonizing. We worked so hard to get him to this point of comfortablility and the system is failing again. It is crazy how it takes 2 weeks to make a decision to terminate but an appeal we are going on 5 1/2 months. How much longer to wait.

I told you that I would do absolutely anything for him and I did send a letter to the judge but unfortunately I got it sent back to me with a letter stating:

"The court must return your letter addressed to Judge ----- for the reason that it would be improper for the judge to read anything not presented as evidence in court. While we appreciate the fact you tried to let him know about a concern you had, the judge will not be able to consider your letter.

Please understand the limitations imposed on judge by law. The rules are meant to preserve the equality of justice, which is so important to our system of laws."

In the letter to the judge I wasn't trying to make him terminated there right just explained my concern with school and if he could look over the paper work so he can move on with his life and close this chapter.

What else can I do. Any one go through this? Anyone know how long on average appeals take? What more can I do? Can I go up higher to get this resolved or to bring attention or awareness not just for Justin but for other kids going through the same thing? Who do you go to? I want to make a difference and no child should have to feel and comfortable as he is with me that he might not stay here forever and doesn't have solid ground to stand on the longer they make a child wait. I just need some advice or ideas or what else I can do? I have sat on my hand this whole time and I feel like I have been waiting forever. I just wish this could be final already. I can't tell you how many times people ask me when is it final. It makes me mad to say I have no idea because I am sick of saying by the end of the summer. I have really tried hard to be positive which I was doing until yesterday's e-mail from the adoption worker. I even put up a sign on my fridge that appeal will be finalized with us as parent by July 31. I was trying to really believe it would come true I even opened a fortune cookies yesterday that states "everything will now come your way" I truly believed that when I opened it yesterday I was thinking see this positive thing is working then I got the e-mail and I was just so mad. I am sorry but I needed to vent and see if I can get any help of advise. Thanks


  1. I wish I had advice. :( Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers and I am praying that this will all happen soon so Justin can legally become part of your family. I know he already is a part of your family, we just need that gosh dang court to declare it. I hope others pitch in with excellent advice.

  2. Have you been able to get into the site I suggested to you? Lots of help should be all set up. Anyway, unfortunately these things take time. Its just the way the system is when dealing with tpr. Most of the time the appeal is just so the state can show they did everything possible for reunification. From what I understand, it rarely happens. Hang in there, its tough, but it will be worth it.

  3. the only thing i can say is that as much as this sucks, it is necessary. if they take their time now & get it RIGHT, you will KNOW FOR SURE that there is NOTHING that can change in the future.

    what if the adoption was granted, then birth father appealed based on incorrect procedures & you risked losing him over it?

    this way, you can have peace knowing there was no stone left unturned. and, although i'm sure there's a reason this guy lost his child, this is obviously a MAJOR thing - a court is telling a citizen that their own flesh & blood is no longer theirs. it's something that has to be done right the first time.

    i'm praying for you guys... hang in there!

  4. Thank you all for the comments. I am truly just frustrated with the process I guess I don't understasnd how they can make a desion to terminate in 2 weeks but the appeal takes months on end. And when time went to the two minute placement hearing with the judge when he was suppose to be in the ref's room the judge said he was done with all cases and told my husband what case was he there for and he said Justin's name and he said that didn't even ring a bell with him in June and it is my understanding from what everyone has told me that the judge goes back over the notes to make sure there were no errors if he was actully doing that and not just leaving to the side to when he gets to it wouldn't he know Justin's name or it might even sound vagly familiar. I am just saying this is were my frustration comes from. But thanks