On a ruff patch

He hasn't been good this week. The listening skills have been terrible and now he is doing something weird to his face that we brought him back to his eye doctor on Monday and he gave us drops thinking maybe it was an infection in his eye that he couldn't see that was causing him to make this face as if he had a stroke. It is kind of scary. If after 10 days he continues to make the face then we will have to bring him to a neurologist. I pray it isn't anything serious. We are also unfortunately getting him tested for ADHD. We think this may be a possibility of his issues. I have been told I have been denying that he has that problem but I just don't want to drug up my kid. I want him to still have spunk about him but I also want him to be able to control himself.


We will see what happens. We don't have an appointment till February. I just don't know what to do anymore so I figured lets get him tested to rule it out. I didn't like when I looked it up that he had every single thing on there. I hope I was just looking to far into it and he doesn't have it. But the sudden outbursts and him crying for no reason and not knowing why. Or just snapping on a dime at you and later can't explain why he did it. The weird part about it though is he is just so smart. He would be brilliant if he could just listen to the teacher and stop getting into trouble and that is why I am getting him tested. It is the hardest thing. I don't want him to be labeled if he is but I feel it has to be done so he can get to his full potential and so that our family can be sane. It is a rocky boat. The teacher asked me today if we were planning to adopt again and I said yes we want to. Then she asked if we have kids in our neighborhood and told her we don't have a neighborhood we live in the country on 6 acres of land with farm land around us so no kids. Then she asked if there are other kids in the family and I told her know his second cousin is the next Youngest at 17 years old so he is the only child. When I was talking to her she thought his talking with other kids was getting out of control and she thinks he gets so excited to talk to other kids because he doesn't get to. I told her I try to set up play dates but there are maybe 2 or 3 a month because I work Tim works and the parents don't want to drive all the way to see us and it is a bit of a hassle because it isn't close to our home but we do it for him. She doesn't know why he tends to have a listening problem like he can't sit still and listen he will get into mastiff. We will see what happened.

On a positive we are leaving for Florida on Jan 21 next Friday in a week and so excited for a vacation we need it. Work and issues we have been having with Justin just need to relax and have fun in the sun. I can't wait.

Also on Wednesday I got a call from a lawyers office I had not been to in two years. I went because I was interested in adopting an older child at the time in another state. Well the lawyer told me I had a retainer fee of $12,000 to him and then I would have to pay to go to this state and to pay the other adoption places fees and it was racking up the money fast so he I declined and he said he would keep our birth mom letter and if a birth mom chooses us then we can adopt that way and it would be cheaper. Well guess what, now over 2 years later we get a call. Birth mom is 9 weeks pregnant this is her 3rd adoption and she is going to be evicted from her house and we would have to pay $2,400 for her to keep her place and then $1,200 a month until the baby is 6 weeks and then we still have a $12,000 retainers we have to pay the attorney plus pay for her attorney and then we have to buy all this stuff when the baby come it was costing with all the add ons it would cost us $25,000-$30,000 . I just knew we didn't have the money. We could come up with it but we would be in the hole and I just in the economy want to be that far in debt. I knew though that if we didn't have Justin that we probably would have jumped at the chance because we were so desperate to be parents. Know that we have him it is weird how priorities have changed. I am sure if it was Catholic Social Services calling or DHS we probably would have taken them up on that child but it was just to much money and we had to think about everything but it was an exciting moment that we finally were chosen by a birth mom but it was unfortunate that it just was not right for us. We have to see what the future holds.