Frustration

Sorry to bring the mood down for anyone today. I am a bit sad and frustrated. So I finally got the call from DHS from my transfer of foster licence and adoption paper work from my other adoption agency. Well they got the paper work last week but she said she would call on Tuesday or Wednesday to schedule a home study again.They said they wanted there own home study. Well anyway she called today. I was so excited I ran to my calender to get this ball running. She tells me July has just been so busy and they have so much going on. Then she asked what day is best for us and I told her Monday or Thursday's she said okay can we meet on August 6th. I was kind of like oh is that the soonest because I can take off of work. I am a person that is very organized and very on top of everything. So this is a stretch for me. I was rushing my poor other social worker at the agency to get everything transferred to DHS and for what I have to wait another 4 weeks. I just got down on myself. I know it is silly and it is only 4 weeks but it feels like a lifetime when everyday you are hoping you are one step closer to reaching your dream to be a parent. When my husband got home we took a run. I had to get out the stress and get everything off my mind but the run just made me think about it the whole time so I figured if I blogged about it I can get it off my chest and maybe I would feel better about it tomorrow. I just have to let this go and try not to think about it so that it will come sooner. We were hoping (my husband and I) that we would maybe have a baby by Christmas to celebrate with. The last few years of Christmas have been a real bummer and we celebrate with all of our family but there is no kids in the family. Ours would be the first. I don't know if it is going to happen this year but I am praying for a miracle. Some days are good some are bad. Today unfortunately was bad for me and I just couldn't shack it. I am trying. Well I am going to hit the shower now and maybe I will feel better after that. Thanks for listening and please pray for us. Thanks

Another day.

Well our friends that are so secretive and that were checking on my old blog to find out my every move had a baby girl on Tuesday June 30. Her name is Hailey Marie 8lbs, 21 inches. I am happy for them. I really am.
I did have something personal to ask. If anyone has gone through what I have. This is the issue and I usually don't feel comfortable talking about this personal of stuff but I don't hear of anyone that goes through what I do and I want to see if it is normal for anyone else. So my period is about 5-6 days long and it is heavy and lots of cramps but the kicker is that a week before my period I start spotting the whole week before it and then comes the period. The spotting gets worse when I am doing work outside or exercising. This has been going on for at least 3 year but got a little worse in the past year after the invetro. Now I told my infertility specialist and she said it could be just my hormones but they kept track of all of that when I was going through the invetro. Yes I do have hypothyroid but I am tested every six months and on meds for it and it is within normal range. I have asked my ob too and he doesn't see anything wrong with that but tells me I could go on birth control but when you are on that I am scared to increase my risk of cancer because now with my dad passing from cancer and also with the pill you gain weight and I don't always feel so good on it. So I told my ob that I didn't want to do that and he said that would be the only thing to regulate it. I told him but period is regulated it comes when it needs to but I spot when any activity happens and they it stays with me. I feel like I only have 2 weeks without a pad and then another 2 weeks with a pad. It stinks. I have never heard anyone with this problem. As you know when you go through infertility they do billions of test to rule everything out and a ton of blood work and they didn't find anything but an under active thyroid. Just wondering if anyone goes through this or knows someone who went through it and is it normal. Thanks for listening.

Hi to new people to my blog and old friends

I everyone. I have made a bran new blog with no connections to my other one. For those of you who didn't follow me before my blog is http://timsue511.blogspot.com/ . I have since decided to keep that blog only talk about stuff I was okay about everyone hearing. For those of you that are new to my blog I had the blog I have pasted and I discussed my journey to adoption. Some of the stuff I would talk about related to my life and the lives of others in my life with no names. Well all the people I know do not have blogs or and where not going through the same thing I was going through. So one of my friends got a hold of my blog website because I made these adoption fliers that I had put up in the colleges in case there was someone who was pregnant and thinking to adopt they could know more about me on my blog. Well one of my friends came with me to put them out. She asked if she could take 2 for her sister to put up at her college. Well what I didn't know is that friend typed in my blog which was fine but then put it on her face book page. That in turn had everyone knowing my business when I was not intending to share my blog with anyone other then bloggers who want to know what we or others in the same circumstance are going through. The blog was not to open to everyone in my life that I see on a day to day basis knowing my frustrations or triumphs unless I decided to share that with them. I just wanted to discuss this stuff with people who are going through it or who are interested in what is going on that don't know us on a day to day. I absolutely could have made this private and invited people but I wanted someone like my self who is looking for others that are going through stuff that I can relate to see there blog without am invitation is why I had made a totally different blog with no relation to the old and I kept my old blog for those in my life that were being nosey and wanted to see my blog they wouldn't try looking for my new blog if I already had an existing one. I hope for those who have followed would still continue being my friend and my new blog. I will keep the old but not talk about everything on that one like I will talk about on this one. I want to keep this one under wraps so if they are not blogers they can't find me here and for the picture that comes up when you follow people I am just going to put animals there so they do not recognize me if I have added this to your blog from my existing one. I know this is a mess and confusing but it won't be anymore and I just wanted to clear that up especially for my old blogging friends that have followed. At this moment we are still waiting for that day that we get a call that we are going to be parents. Until then I will try to keep you posted if I can weekly until then.