tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8284510690150829663.post136875671782266612..comments2023-04-30T01:32:35.679-07:00Comments on From the Stork: Need HelpFrom the Stork; An adoption Journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10038726242362316249noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8284510690150829663.post-31044466795297595932009-10-06T11:29:20.054-07:002009-10-06T11:29:20.054-07:00see..I neglect blogs for a few days and I missed t...see..I neglect blogs for a few days and I missed this whole deal!!!Hey you need to be upfront about things right away, get the hard part done so he can start transistioning quicker! Let him know his mommy made some bad choices and she is getting the help she needs. Did he come with a life book? Does he have any pics of his birth mom?Triciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08038612385589565997noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8284510690150829663.post-87190001778660476882009-10-06T08:22:18.665-07:002009-10-06T08:22:18.665-07:00I really think these ladies have given you some gr...I really think these ladies have given you some great advice! <br /><br />Does your caseworker know of any place that you can take him to help him work out his feelings? In Alabama, we have free services through APAC and they will help with the transitions of adoptions. <br /><br />Too bad that he has to go to school at the age of 4. Is it just half a day or a whole day? So many chances for him. Praying for you guys. I am so excited for yall.kalibughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12595750874755060672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8284510690150829663.post-3377564775347349082009-10-06T06:48:37.951-07:002009-10-06T06:48:37.951-07:00I've been offline since Thursday, clearly I mi...I've been offline since Thursday, clearly I missed something! Sounds like some excitement at your house. I'm so happy for you. Now I need to read the last few posts so I can catch up.Savannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17584445611402346917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8284510690150829663.post-76977812642127043182009-10-05T22:45:27.171-07:002009-10-05T22:45:27.171-07:00I wouldn't beat around the bush about it.
Tomo...I wouldn't beat around the bush about it.<br />Tomorrow, I would sit him down and tell him that you guys are taking care of him because his mommy can't right now. You are going to take care of him and make sure he has everything he needs.<br /><br />Start doing things together and making a routine and it will all be ok. He'll ask questions and you will answer them the best you can and help him deal with things.Kelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02797896478373033161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8284510690150829663.post-81106568433537229942009-10-05T21:53:16.243-07:002009-10-05T21:53:16.243-07:00I am a former foster parent...it is so hard to dis...I am a former foster parent...it is so hard to discuss such grown up situations with a child. One of my friends from a foster parent support group told me one time to be honest from the start. This is so hard when they start asking such hard questions. I know it is hard to know exactly what to say. I once had a 4 yo girl placed with me. She was living with relatives at the time. So she was asking where they were and that she was waiting up for them. I just told her that they did not know where we lived so they were not coming tonight for her and that she needed a safe place to stay until things got settled at her home. I would just acknowledge her feelings of sadness and be sensitive to her.<br /> A year later I had a social worker tell me that if you ever had a child old enough to understand things...that before the caseworker that places the child with you leaves ask them to explain to the child why...like mommy/daddy are having some grown up problems and you need a place to stay and stay safe. We will let you know when you will see them again as soon as we know. (or we will let you know if anything changes) This way it is coming from someone else and it might help the child not to think that you are the bad guy (like you took them from their family) Since the child has already been placed with you...maybe the next visit from the caseworker they can explain it to him.<br /> But before you get your case worker to explain this you need to kind of redirect your story about you bieng his moms friend. My opinion of how to change your story about you being moms friend and you keeping him for her. Maybe you could draw a photo...and explain his old house...nice people who helped him out (caseworker)..then he is now in your house...maybe kind of change your story that you did not know his mom personally to become her friend but that you heard that she needed help from the caseworker (his or her name)..she needed help with providing you a safe and loving home and that you and your husband want to help you out and your mom out.ask child: After all don't friends help each other out when needed. This is just my opinion...I believe the truth needs to come out sooner that later. And can be done so lightly...<br /> As far as what you are dealing with..like the possibility of no visits. I would ask the social worker for ideas. It is so hard on little ones...they suffer so much loss. <br />I have adopted four siblings this year. As far as their case. I have always talked positive about their mom...she loves you, she could not provide a safe home with food, water, and keep you safe. I also have told them that the next best thing was to find a home where they all 4 could stay together and that this was God's plan for their life. and it is okay to miss their bio mom. I always tell them that we wanted them and love them. And over time the stories and questions have slowed down. My kids adjusted pretty well. Good luck.MJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07661309994995951274noreply@blogger.com